Groat in the sack

Oktoberfest: 1, getting laid: 0

By Jeff Groat
[lifestyle bureau chief]

Don’t get loaded in Munich and expect a hook-up. Ever.

Though it is so famously one of Europe’s biggest celebrations of partying and drinking culture, Oktoberfest isn’t really known for sex like other events in other cities are. Cities like Las Vegas, or festivals like Mardi Gras are built on sex.

Sure, for Oktoberfest the women are decked out in the somewhat traditional dirndls, but when it comes down to brass-tax, this is a party all about beer.

The festival is really old. It’s been around for like five years at least.  And through the years, men have been getting too plastered, gassy and burpy off of good German beer to seal the deal and take someone back to the hotel with them.

Sure I’m playing to stereotypes and gender-roles here, but let’s get serious, it’s a festival centered on drinking a shit-load of beer. It’s a mass of big tents and big tables designed to seat the maximum number of people for drinking purposes.

Have you ever smelled a dude’s breath after he’s been drinking beer all night?

And to keep all of this beer settled in, all kinds of heavy German foods like sausage are served up.

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