The new and improved affordable housing solution

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Metro Vancouver simply isn’t affordable for most people anymore — even the “affordable housing” generally isn’t within the realm of being fairly priced. Consistently faced with high rental prices and minimal square footage, I thought that there must be a better way.  As I dove into the black hole of another apartment rental website, it finally came to me: alternative housing. 

Now, I’m not talking about your typical #vanlife, tiny home, or even a converted shipping container (all of which are pretty cool). Close your eyes for a second and picture a living space not covering the Earth, but rather submerged amongst the earth. Bear with me here. 

A sort of dwelling if you will. If you’re seeing something similar to a Hobbit-hole, you’re on the right track. Imagine snuggling up under the comforting, grassy knoll of the Tubbytronic Superdome or the equally as environmentally immersive habitancy of Bilbo Baggins in Hobbiton. 

Now that’s affordable and eco-friendly housing at its best. Submerged under a blanket of soil and lush grass, feeling the gentle embrace of the Earth itself. It sounds like a pretty nice place to live if you ask me. At least better than the concrete jungle — which I am also told is where dreams are supposed to be made of. Sorry, can’t relate. 

Not only would this be a cost-effective solution (less building material costs, because you’re basically living underground), but you would also be able to fully immerse yourself into the environment — literally.

Now, ask yourself this — would you rather live like Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, Laa Laa and Po, or pay $1,600 a month for a mouse problem and a toilet that doesn’t flush all the way? Frankly, I know which one I’d choose. 

If that doesn’t tickle your fancy, ponder the idea of diving deeper below the Earth’s surface, similar to a well-known group of crime-fighting amphibians.

The “Sewer, Sweet Sewer” of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would not only be rent-free, but also cover a vast expanse of untapped territory below our bustling cities. I’m sure you could find a piece or two of gooey, cheesy pizza while you’re down there too. 

The colourful world of children’s TV seems fantastical and far-fetched from the adult eye, but they might just be the key to solving our problem of unaffordable housing here in Metro Vancouver.