Spread the word for 2022: streaming services and pop culture have become the parents of your adult life. They give us reminders when we don’t ask for them, teach us important stuff about life, and punish us when we get into trouble. The shows that entertain us also parent us in a way, and here’s how you can tell.
Parents have an annoying habit of giving us reminders when we never ask them to. It’s the same deal with Disney+, it shoves movies and TV shows we’ve seen hundreds of times into our bloodshot eyes.
How many times can Disney tell us that The Book of Boba Fett is new? We don’t need to be told a million times to do errands A, B, and C tomorrow, Mom and Dad. We don’t need to be reminded how the most famous bounty hunter from a galaxy far, far away has his own show now. We know! Get off our back.
The day entertainment platforms become parental is when they also punish us after we get into trouble. If you act like a delinquent, don’t be surprised when Amazon presents you with monotonous weeks of the same movies over and over, to punish you for the poor life decisions you make.
You sit there on your couch, choosing between Back to the Future and Addams Family Values for movie night before you realize, “Have I done this before? Yes, I have.” What happened to surprises? They must make new Amazon movies every year, right? They do, but only for the most behaved subscribers.
This is the streaming service’s way of saying “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed. You’re better than this, come on.”
Whether it’s Disney+ or Amazon, streaming services get the most parental when they show you tough love. They teach you the most important life lesson of all: watch the stuff on your watchlists fast before they go away forever.
You’re about to search through each genre, then suddenly recall, “Wait, I don’t need to scroll. I have a watchlist. Thank you, streaming services.” You browse the list to watch that movie you saved a year ago that’s 70 items down, only to find it’s not available in your country anymore. You blew it. You took it for granted, and sometimes you have to learn these things the hard way.
Three hundred sixty-five days to watch that show and your neglect and procrastination have cost you the opportunity. Another learning experience courtesy of your streaming services.
Whether it’s your parents or your entertainment content, we’ll always be nurtured by something in our lives. Touching, right?
The extent that entertainment has replaced parents reveals how much we haven’t grown up.
In any case, it’s time to go to your room mister, and binge-watch that list before 2023.