Pizza delivery drivers deserve the first slice of Slovakia’s new flying car tech
Delivery times will be a thing of the past when pizza pilots can get to your place at mach five
(Kristen Frier)
We’ve all seen flying cars in Blade Runner and Men in Black. Now, we have them for real. You heard me right, flying cars are now a thing.
Fittingly dubbed the “AirCar,” this newest invention was recently developed and certified for flight in Slovakia. The AirCar can turn from a car to an aircraft and vice versa, so what’s the first thing we should do with this futuristic tech?
I’ll tell you what we should do: revolutionize the pizza delivery business.
Parking stalls will become runways so delivery drivers can have space to take off in their new rides. Food giants like McDonald’s and Tim Hortons will still be stuck using slow and boring ground-based delivery cars – that’ll show ‘em.
Being a pizza pilot is way better than being a plain old driver. Remember Maverick from Top Gun? Thanks to AirCars, pizza employees can now deliver pizzas while satisfying their need for speed.
Employees will go on thrilling pizza missions, instead of the boring delivery runs on the road. It’ll be much easier to hire delivery staff once they hear about all the cool stuff they get to say.
“Control, this is Pepperoni One with two Wednesday specials with extra cheese. Ready for launch, over.”
By this point, though, you might be thinking, “Okay, your workplace and job title will change forever, that’s cool, but what about your pizza runs?”
Well, let’s start with the obvious: your traffic troubles are gone. Say “good-bye” to waiting at intersections for that red light to finally turn green. Say “hello” to clear skies where no rude honking, smoky exhaust pipes, or bad drivers can ruin your day.
You can also go mach five to get pizzas to those rare generous tippers. Who cares? Decide the speed of your life. Also, generous tippers mean repeat customers and repeat customers are key to your profit margins.
Piloting flying cars, delivery drivers can now do loop-the-loops or zigzags in the air to waste time when their next order of pizzas is for that person who never tips the 10 per cent minimum.
No one’s timing a driver’s deliveries. There’s no “30-seconds-or-less” policy. That’s just a myth. Besides, a bad tipper deserves a delayed delivery service.
Flying cars will change the pizza delivery business by giving delivery drivers these tricked-out vehicles. They’ll enjoy their jobs even more, and pizza stores will garner more applicants. It’s only a matter of time before AirCars get trendy, but pizza drivers should have top priority.
