How to form a fantasy micronation to satisfy your lust for power

Building a tiny nation is as easy as building a tiny house, but not as rewarding

Flag designed by Navnoor Singh, Edited by Kristen Frier

Flag designed by Navnoor Singh, Edited by Kristen Frier

Micronations are one of the many wacky ways one can become famous, for like two days. Tiny nations are sometimes as tiny as someone’s backyard or as large as a city, they are often a result of protest or a means for attracting attention to a cause.

Some guys crowdfunded their way to buying an entire island near Belize called Coffee Caye. But I can’t even get my friends to buy something for me, I should probably crowdfund a new set of friends first.

If I were to create a nation, it would follow a system of impulsive constitutional monarchical democracy, where the system of governance is determined by my whim at that moment.

Welcome to the Republican Kingdom of Intellectual Enthusiasts (RKIE). A country whose citizens can have an intellectually stimulating discussion about anything that’s been blessed into existence. Foreigners call this “nerding” but in RKIE, this phrase is classified as hate speech.  

The flag is one which inspires courage and aesthetic pleasure in its citizens. The red represents the blood of those who fought for freedom, blue represents water and the sky with white being for peace and Tim’s doughnut frosting.

The lone star stands testament to the unity of the country and the unmoving and steadfast President-King, (me) henceforth to be referred to as “His Majesty.” 

His Majesty’s Republican Kingdom consists of different districts, with appointed governors for all the districts, who are so totally not his Majesty’s friends and cronies. 

Citizenship is open to anyone who can feign interest in anime, books, and cool flags.

Some nationwide customs and traditions include finding a life partner by matching each other’s favourite anime, giving flags as wedding gifts, compulsively asking what the capital of Tuvalu is in all job interviews, having a sleepover with your buds in the library, and the provision of free gym memberships with health insurance, both of which inexplicably go unused. 

The national sport is speed reading, although Among Us was popular in the ancient times.

Some important holidays will include Pick-a-Book Day on Jan. 1, and of course, His Majesty’s birthday on Feb. 3. Not attending or wishing His Majesty a happy birthday results in incarceration, and if you would like to become a citizen, I accept applications in the form of gifts and compliments.