Obi-Wan Kenobi needs a vacation on Tatooine

The iconic Star Wars legend needs a break from watching over the galaxy’s future saviour

Art by @RESLUS

Art by @RESLUS

Obi-Wan Kenobi isn’t taking advantage of his time protecting Luke Skywalker on Tatooine in his new series on Disney+. Until Luke blows up that Death Star, Kenobi has nothing better to do. “You only live once” needs to be the new motto of his desert life. 

He needs a break. No, he deserves a vacation.

Being on a desert planet doesn’t have to be a bore. While Luke’s hurting his eyes staring at twin suns all day, Kenobi has the chance to get some genuine rest and relaxation. 

Kenobi’s vacay starts off travelling to a local retail store called Jabba’s Summer Hut, run by Jawas. He changes into shorts made from Sarlacc Pit skin and a floral T-shirt that says, “Too Cool for Lightsaber Duel.” As for his Jedi robes, he can just use the Force to float them in the air as a killer canvas umbrella. 

He lies down on a foldable beach chair in the desert. Using a lightsaber bendy straw, Kenobi sips his blue umbrella drink with Force-wielding abandon. He throws on Ray-Bans, a bit of sunscreen, and sits back. The Cantina Band plays Hawaiian music on ukuleles. 

How did he get the most popular act in Mos Eisley? Well, the Force works better on the weak-minded. 

Kenobi converts his lightsaber into a grill to make one heck of a barbeque. He can gorge on the planet’s local cuisine, from imported Tauntaun steaks to Rancor skewers. End it with melted speeder sundaes topped with fudge for dessert and its delicacy galore.

It only gets better with company.

The next thing the Jedi Knight ought to do is invite the Sand People to partake in his afternoon festivities. Boba Fett got along with them fine, so why can’t Kenobi, right? 

He’ll be deflecting two blaster bolts with one lightsaber by hanging out with the Sand People. While we all know the Tusken Raiders try to hurt Luke in A New Hope, Kenobi and the Raiders were besties before then. He asked them to leave the young Jedi alone. 

“Sure, no problem, Kenny,” they say, and buy “Han Shot First” t-shirts at Jabba’s because the “Greedo Shot First” t-shirts were sold out.

Luke is safe, and Kenobi has some buddies. Credit to Kenobi for being so productive in the name of goodness. That’s what it means to be a Jedi, an overworked Jedi with barely a credit to his name. It’s a thankless job, and only Kenobi can do it in style.

When he’s done, Kenobi proves Tatooine is the galaxy’s top vacation destination. If the legendary Jedi Knight can have fun in the desert, then perhaps there is hope.

Hang up the lightsaber, Kenobi. Luke will be okay. There’s plenty of time to protect the future hero of the Rebellion. Relax a bit.