Pop Cult: Pointless space flights, brainrot acronyms, and Rihanna’s (almost) musical comeback

Katy Perry has been to space since I last wrote this column. Yes, let that sink in. 

“It won’t be about me, it will be about this beautiful Earth,” the singer said before the launch. “I think from up there, we will think ‘Oh, my God, we have to protect our mother.’” Just FYI Ms. Perry, most people don’t need to go to space to care about the Earth. 

Also have we collectively decided to pretend that space flights are good for the environment and our planet? 

According to reports (it’s from Daily Mail, so take it with a grain of salt) Perry was dragged on the internet for singing to fellow travellers during the space excursion. Now, whatever you say about her, Perry’s singing could not have been the worst part of that trip. Sure, people might be adding “The One That Got Away” to their oldies playlist, but Perry used to be Taylor Swift before Taylor Swift was a thing. 

Clearly the 11-minute trip to space had done a number on Perry, who then proceeded to go on tour. If “this is gonna ruin the tour” was a picture, it would be the one of her kissing the ground upon landing from space. Spoiler alert — it did ruin the tour.

But she’s not getting low ticket sales because her music tanks, she’s getting them because the iPad kids out there care more about five-second, brainrotted, fast-forwarded versions of songs that physically hurt your ears if played at a normal speed. 

The only place Perry hasn’t frequented is the Met. In 2024 and 2025, AI-generated pictures of the pop star (if we can still call her one, jk) at the Met Gala surfaced on the internet and fooled many (her mother included). Seems like someone is really working hard manifesting an invite for Perry. 

In other news, Jojo Siwa auditioned for Tangled — looks like someone’s eyeing an Oscar. I think we should all just be collectively happy that at least it’s not a musical (hopefully). 

The Summer I Turned Pretty is coming back with another season. Putting aside the whole Team Conrad or Team Jeremiah drama, does everyone get a summer where they turn pretty or is that just the show? Asking for a friend. Also, can we talk about the abbreviations? Have we realised what a verbal conundrum TSITP is? Like bffr. 

Speaking of the Met Gala, is coiling a wire around your head considered fashion now? Someone tell Jaden Smith. We love a themed party, but it’s just boring when everyone understands the assignment. Is no one brave enough to break the rules anymore? 

Shah Rukh Khan was at the Met Gala. However, Teyana Taylor and Ego Nwodim (the actresses interviewing him on the carpet) were just too cool to know — which was way too obvious during the interview. I thought actors could act? Like literally just pretend you know him. The internet thinks this is what happens when journalists and reporters are not put to the job of interviewing guests at the gala. No offence though, I am sure journalists have better use of their time than to spend an evening asking people who they’re wearing and why they’re wearing it. #meeverytimeiwearsomethingnew. 

Also, why didn’t anyone debrief Hailey Bieber and Kendall Jenner about the theme? The girls were wrongfully tricked into attending Selena’s bachelorette. 

Bad Bunny is going on tour around the world — except the U.S. What a g. 

Lastly, it’s been eight years since Tom Holland’s iconic appearance on Lip Sync Battle — the only time he overshadowed the queen Zendaya. That moment was the closest thing to Rihanna’s comeback to the music industry since she stopped releasing music, and he did it better — I said what I said.