Garden gossip: A star cast of flowers around KPU

It turns out the Kwantlen Polytechnic University’s campus garden is alive and pulsing with drama, delusion, and a whole lot of photosynthesis. The flora of the university is not only filled with beauty but personality.

Here are a few lovely flowers that caught my eye.

Common Daises (Bellis perennis) — lost dreamers 

Like clueless kids in the class, these groups of flowers didn’t quite move past the wonder of kindergarten and their one true goal in life is to get to the end of the rainbow and find a pot of gold. They are littered all over the campus in varying shades of white and pink — as if blushing at the thought of their own fantasies. 

Dandelions (Taraxacum officinale) — the cursed wish-granters

They start off as arrogant blooms of bright yellow and fade into faded puffballs of seeds that you must have blown on in hopes of having a wish come true. Nature’s justice — they are best friends with daisies and often found together. What’s a better duo than Aladdin and the Genie? (sorry Jasmine, but they won this round)!

Privet shrub (genus Ligustrum) — the outcast introverts

Your first thought when you look at them is “Are they even flowers?” 

These little ones hug the edges of the Arbutus and Fir buildings at KPU’s Surrey campus and prefer to lie low. In fact, they lie so low that even Google isn’t sure if they are of the Ligustrum japonicum or Ligustrum vulgare species. I think such secretive flowers must have something vulgare to hide.

Rhododendrons (Rhododendron catawbiense) — the bold barriers

These majestic, fiery, loyal, and deeply passionate seeming flowers are placed on either side of the Gathering Place and honour the ground where Indigenous culture fosters with their bright-coloured and large petals. They do a great job of bringing attention to this important location. They also have calmer siblings, in white, which like to meditate by the fountain, symbolizing peace and tranquility. 

Oregon grape (Mahonia aquifolium) — the resilient providers

On the left side of the Arbutus building, identifiable by clusters of small, yellow flowers and holly-like, serrated evergreen leaves, these native North American shrubs are bountiful. They produce blueberries, which can be used to make jam! Be sure to save yourselves from its neighbour, the Japanese aucuba or spotted laurel, the juicy red berries will tempt you, but you must resist. This red is the colour of the devil. The berries are toxic and can jam your breathing forever, so do not make jam out of them. Stick to the nice blue ones.

Common bluebells (Hyacinthoides non-scripta) — deceitful vervain knockoffs

My friend and I both stopped dead in our tracks when we saw these almost neon purple flowers near the horticulture hill. We were convinced it was vervain, the vampire repeller, and our one true chance at finding out if we were vampires. Turns out they are just English bluebells (damn colonizers). 

We also found its white brother, which we naturally assumed to be wolfsbane. No, we aren’t werewolves either. These flowers are masters of deceit with their sad-looking, downward-facing petals and their coy alluring scents. Beware! 

Tulips (Tulipa gesneriana) — the petal plastics clique

Regina Red — queen tulip bee. She’s the alpha with a flawless bloom. Probably started the rumour that the daisies bleach their petals.

Karen Yellow — the airheaded one
She thinks chlorophyll is body butter. Super sweet but clueless. She also thinks pollen is blush because it matches her petals.

Gretchen Orange – the insecure sidekick
She’s not sure if she’s truly orange or a mix of red and yellow. She also keeps trying to make “fertile” happen (stick to bloom, girl). 

These three are growing at random places and regally stealing the limelight. The poor old rock star branch has gone dry and dead, his stage overtaken by the tulips.