From the Editor: Navigating the in between as a brown girl in the diaspora

If you’re part of a diaspora, you know the feeling all too well.

You feel a sense of connection to your ancestral homeland, but not nearly as much as your parents or grandparents may. But, at the same time, your appreciation goes leaps and bounds farther than a tourist.

For some, this in-betweenness can mean looking at your background and heritage from a western or Eurocentric lens. This can manifest itself in negative ways — such as discussing your culture or background to others in a way that, let’s face it, can set your own people back.

What I am describing is the diasporic gaze — the way children of immigrants view their family’s homelands without a strong sense of ownership and belonging.

Keeping this in mind, I want to take you back to 2020 — and no, it’s not to relive that!

It was the year Netflix’s Never Have I Ever premiered, the brainchild of actress Mindy Kaling. While the show certainly had its weird and awkward moments, its protagonist, first-generation Indian American teen Devi Vishwakumar, was a character I saw myself in on so many fronts — something I haven’t felt before when watching TV.

From her not being able to fluently speak her mother tongue, Tamil, to her indifference about marking cultural holidays, Devi captured what it meant to have a conflicted and nuanced sense of identity.

I also didn’t grow up learning to speak my mother tongue, Punjabi, or have a generally strong cultural identity. At gatherings, opportunities to make meaning with others would be limited to stripped-backed discussions based on what I could understand and convey back to someone. In other cases, I’d have a family member speak and translate for me.

On the flip side, outside the South Asian community, I’ve sometimes felt like my identity was front and centre, even in moments when I didn’t intend for it to be. I’ve seen the faces of shock when I tell folks that I can’t translate something for them or can’t speak on a specific question about Indian culture.

Whether it’s within or outside of their community, it’s an all too common experience for people of colour to not be seen as Indian enough, Mexican enough, Jamaican enough, Chinese enough, or whatever cultural background someone may be from.

In words, this could look like being called a “coconut” — meaning brown on the outside, white on the inside — or similar food-based jabs like “Oreo” and “banana.” It goes without saying that these terms are offensive, but they also reduce who you are into a narrow perspective or stereotype.

For all children of immigrants who are navigating what it means to see and understand who you are through a diasporic gaze, where do we go from here? I wish I had a clear answer.

However, what I can tell you is that although the internet and social media has been a breeding ground for so much racism and intertolerance, there’s another — much healthier — side to it that’s been a space I’ve used to seek out better representation.

Stumbling upon creators like @heyimhershy and @aishwaryabhattacharjee_ on Instagram, who both embrace their culture while living in ways that are authentic to them and their individuality, has been so refreshing. They’ve taught me there is no one correct way to be a brown girl in the West, and embracing your background can happen in simple, everyday moments, such as choosing to wear cultural jewellery to school.

While there’s no single blueprint for moving about this world, seeing people who look like you be themselves can be just the motivation you need to start doing the same.