Understanding my Lebanese and Canadian identity
It’s important to keep an open mind and heart when communicating with people from different cultures
Art by Christina Tran
Most people I know, including myself, were born to immigrants who came to Canada for a better life, often to escape poverty, war, and other dire circumstances.
I was born to Lebanese immigrants in Ajax, Ontario, a city located in the Greater Toronto Area (GTA). While growing up, my parents mainly spoke Arabic at home, and I understood and even spoke a little bit of it, albeit broken. For the first 12 years of my life, I was never correctly exposed to my culture. Even if I was, the population where I lived was homogenous, white-European, meaning my parents had a hard time, especially with Muslim identities and my mother wearing a hijab, even more so in a post-9/11 world.
Due to these circumstances, I wasn’t able to appreciate my culture at that age and even distanced myself from it due to the misunderstanding between Canadian and Arab cultures. Eventually, my parents took us on trips to Lebanon. We even lived there for a bit. I got to immerse myself in the culture, become fluent in Arabic, and integrate into the Arab culture while maintaining my Canadian identity.
This time in my life helped me get to know myself more, yet at the same time, caused issues. These previous experiences taught me that it is essential to be open and respectful of other cultures and to reasonably give people the benefit of the doubt.
Arabs are known for being very passionate. This includes being loud, energetic, and expressive. We gesticulate often, and a lot of times, at least in my circumstances, our tone of voice can come off as if we are yelling at someone or even being rude, which certainly isn’t the intention, but it happens.
When you reach a certain age, you learn to balance between your two cultural selves. When I was a teenager, I didn’t, but I was learning. Before diving into some of the clashes I’ve had, it’s important to note that Canadian culture can be diverse, with differences between the GTA and the Greater Vancouver Regional District (GVRD). One difference is the friendliness in my experience. I could strike up a convo in an elevator really easily for example. Here, people seem reluctant and give the cold shoulder. I don’t even get a smile back on the street, it’s either they avoid eye contact or give me some blank stare.
Gesticulation — everyone does it to an extent, some more than others. I gesture quite a bit like many Arabs and also Italians are known to do, maybe more than others. It makes me look like I’m angry with some people.
On one occasion, I was talking about a soccer match that took place between my favourite team, Liverpool, and Manchester United. Liverpool had won 7-0. I was so surprised and happy about that score that, yes, you guessed it, I gesticulated a lot. A friend saw me talking and thought I was arguing when, in reality, I got too excited because crushing one of your biggest rivals is insane and it doesn’t happen too often. He understood, thankfully, but I couldn’t help but think, what if he was not open-minded?
This next clash might seem like a non-issue, but rather simply offering someone something and insisting once or twice more can even cause issues. Arabs are known for being generous. As such, when I offer something, I usually ask once or twice more because it has to do with recognizing that people can be reluctant to take you up on your offer.
An instance of this took place at university after I had some popcorn which I decided to offer, insisting like mentioned above, and was later pulled aside and told I wasn’t respecting “No.” It’s not like I was forcing them to take the popcorn, which I did say to the person, and I also explained the reasoning above, but they weren’t understanding. A fatal flaw in today’s society.
The final clash is tone, something I have to discuss because it was a recent misunderstanding and left me confused. In one of my classes, I was explaining why I thought my answer was correct. Then, I was accused of being condescending. There was some disagreement among my group members. I apologized and moved on. However, I felt terrible and misunderstood despite being given the benefit of the doubt by some.
Ultimately, the main takeaway is try your best to keep an open mind and be understanding of other people’s cultures and perspectives. It’s also important to reasonably give someone the benefit of the doubt, especially with the increase of immigrants, and attending university in an urban, diverse area.
