How to survive the trade (cold) war as a Canadian
Donald Trump can backpedal all he wants but the damage is done
Art by @RESLUS.
Let’s get one thing straight — Donald Trump is no politician.
He’s an entrepreneur to the bone, and he understands the value of leverage in a negotiation. It just so happens that his bargaining chip of choice is threatening to start a trade war.
Sure, we may be in the midst of a month-long tariff limbo, but rather than sighing in relief, we should be taking this as our wake-up call.
It can’t just be me, right? I can’t be the only one irritated by the idea of sweeping it all under the rug and pretending like nothing happened.
Forgive and forget? No, we need to stay angry. It’s time we draw some hard lines and start prioritizing ourselves.
It’s time for Canada’s villain era.
Donald Trump clearly has no plans to respect us and he will scream “tariff” whenever things don’t go his way, just like a toddler throwing tantrums. The way Trump sees it, we aren’t neighbors — we’re just the first stop on his great MAGA colonialization tour.
But for those of you who (like me) feel like the thought of buying American hurts the patriotic pride you never knew you had, I’ve made a simple “Trade Cold War Survival Guide.” It’s out with the Heinz and in with the French’s!
The gold standard is the phrase “Product of Canada” on labels. That means at least 98 per cent of everything that went into the item is Canadian, from ingredients to labour. Our runner-up is the “Made in Canada” label, which means the item is at least 51 per cent Canadian.
An important thing to remember is that even if something is 95 per cent Canadian-sourced and manufactured, it will still say “Made in Canada” so don’t be quick to brush it off.
Here is a quick list of brands that are safe to shop from because they are Canadian: Compliments, No Name, and President’s Choice. Shop Black Diamond and Saputo for cheese and Avalon, Lactantia, and Natrel if you need milk. For plant-milk people, stick to Earth’s Own. Look for Chapman’s and Natrel when you need ice cream and Avalon, Liberté, and Olympic for your yogurt. Hardbite makes some great chips, and Maple Leaf and Schneiders will meet your deli needs.
This is not a definitive list and different grocery stores will carry different brands. It’s also worth noting that some Canadian brands have production lines in the U.S., and some American brands have production lines in Canada.
The goal isn’t to boycott the U.S., and it’s definitely not about hurting Canadian workers and suppliers in the process. The goal is to support and nurture the Canadian economy as much as possible.
This can’t just be a flash of defiance that fizzles out over the next few weeks. This needs to be the spark, the catalyst, the fire under our asses to get us to work toward a more independent Canada.
After a month in office, Trump has pulled the rug on us with tariff dates three times. Three times!
A wise man once said, “Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.”
OK, fine, it was actually a James Bond villain, but Auric Goldfinger is arguably the best antagonist of the series. Maybe we need to take a page from some classic Bond villains for our own character development.
