The absurd awesomeness of the letter W

Why the W is the greatest letter of all time

(Kristen Frier)

(Kristen Frier)


There are 26 letters in the English alphabet, each one is wholly unique from the others, yet there is one that sets itself apart from all the other letters, one that has become synonymous with victory, achievement and most importantly, winning. That letter is the W, the greatest letter of all time. 

As the fourth to last letter, the W’s own name is broken into two parts and joined with a hyphen, which is necessary to keep together the W’s overwhelming power, pronounced ‘double-yoo.’ Even that name sounds like a paradox, where the ‘yoo’ is deceptively identical to the pronunciation of the letter U. 

Somehow, this letter has the shape of two Vs, even though the V comes before W in the alphabet, but after U. But who cares? Not the W.

This intense and intricate wordplay is probably giving your brain a few extra wrinkles. This is some next-level 4D chess wordplay that would make the great scholars of Middle Earth back off and say “not even the eye of Sauron wants to gaze upon this.” 

The W is more than just a powerful letter. It’s an institution. There lies the entire symbolic importance that the W holds. The power of the W is so strong that the letter itself is synonymous with winning. 

Victory, achievement, and accomplishing great feats are all associated with the letter W. While some people use the middle finger and index finger pointed up at their forehead in the symbol of a V, the W is often referenced in many sentences as simply a ‘dub,’ or ‘dubs,’ whenever someone wins a thing.

As previously mentioned, the W’s own shape is something of an anomaly, as it looks like a V attached to yet another V. But we must examine this further, by using the powers that the Great Ones have forbidden humanity from accessing until now and turning the W upside down. 

The following letter’s shape will become that of the letter M, in a sheer display of rebellion that no one, no holy prophet, no elite scholar, no rocket scientist, or even otherworldly entity can reconcile with. 

The letter is so transcendent, so versatile, so superior to every other letter, that it even has three whole syllables in its name. Dou-ble-yoo. There is no other letter in the alphabet with that many syllables, a living testament to how extra the W is.