Finding your lost wallet

When you’re about to give up, it’s time to get creative

When you’re about to give up, it’s time to get creative. (Kayla MacInnis)

When you’re about to give up, it’s time to get creative. (Kayla MacInnis)


Life presents us all with many different experiences. Some are beneficial, others not so much. One thing we’ve all feared and may have experienced is losing our wallets. 

Everyone has one. You literally can’t leave your house without it. Your wallet is the center of your being when you leave the house, and if you lose it, reclaiming it takes precedence over anything and everything. But the most important question is: how? 

Embark on a craigslist journey

Sometimes it’s not the actual destination but the journey. Losing your wallet and looking for it is the journey that many are missing out on. It could be as straightforward as boarding the SkyTrain and going to Chinatown, where your wallet is held at the lost and found section.

Or it could be as complicated as navigating the nefarious rabbit hole that is the local Craigslist lost and found page. You might spend a few hours traversing the web before you find a post with your found wallet. Still, it will all be worth it after you meet Dave from the trailer park and finally agrees to hand your wallet over after you politely decline his questionable yet tempting deals on whole cooked turkeys.

Cry for mom

Whenever you lose something that ends up somewhere you never thought to look, your mom will see it, guaranteed. No matter how unbelievably small it is or how well hidden, nothing can hide from a mom’s sight. Especially if it’s in the “safe space.” Every mother has her forensic skills that awaken whenever someone needs to find something. She needs only to draw from her infinite well of mom powers to grab your wallet, seemingly out of thin air. 

Summon the dark web

This one is risky but can be well worth it. Open up your PC or laptop and bring up the website that allows you to access the dark web. In the search tab, type: “I lost my wallet plz help!!” 

This will conjure up a slew of incredibly helpful results, all probably ending with things like “Lost wallet? Contact me! Pay with your soul!” 

Take the deal. Honestly, you don’t really need that thing anyway. But you do need your wallet.

Despite having some slight risks like the complete hijacking of your bank account, a demon portal engulfing your house, or the permanent loss of your soul, this method is pretty reliable.