Replicating is the greatest superpower

Increase your toilet paper stock, brain power, and banana supply

With replicating powers, we could have infinite bananas. (Flickr/Peter Miller)

The concept of superpowers has captivated humanity for decades. Flying, laser vision, super strength, and invisibility are all things we could use in our lives. Unfortunately, such a mishmash of superpowers would lead to a chaotic environment only experienced otherwise on Black Friday. Nevertheless, some superpowers are better than others, and the best of the batch is the power to replicate. 

You can’t fly or lift a tank with your pinky, but it has the greatest amount of practical use. If you have a copy of Chibi-Robo for the Gamecube, you can create multiple copies and earn the maddest paycheck ever on Craigslist. Think of it as a real-life “God Mode.”


Multiply toilet paper

When a pandemic occurs, toilet paper disappears. Forget food and water, toilet paper is the only acceptable currency in these apocalyptic times. Not only can it be traded, but it has multiple practical uses. 

There is no denying that toilet paper possesses massive value. It can be used to clean yourself, utilized in survival situations, or used as a weapon. With your power of multiplying things, you’ll become god of the new world in no time, selling your (secretly multiplied) TP rolls for a premium price. 


Duplicating brain cells to perfect your Einstein cosplay

Everyone has a bucket list. It could be building a rocket and flying to Mars or growing your cosmic crystals in an underground lab to perceive the universe. One thing on everyone’s bucket list is to perfect their Einstein cosplay. 

We tried to cosplay as a child, but only those with the drive and will can master dressing up as the mathematical genius. This is no ordinary task: you must nail every single tiny detail to match the master scientist’s likeness, down to the number of brain cells Einstein had. With your power of multiplying, you can produce additional brain cells to enlarge your head, completing your Einstein cosplay to its fullest. 


Hoard me some bananas

Go bananas hoarding bananas. Potassium is the most important nutrient in the body. Without potassium, your body can no longer maintain its physical form and you degenerate into bubbles. For this reason, you must have a large stock of bananas. Duplicating bananas and becoming the very entity that would cause Donkey Kong to go green with envy should be the number one priority. 

Multiplying things is the best power of all time. I wouldn’t say it’s much better than Morbius, but it’s still pretty good.