KPU Richmond has a better shot to survive the zombie apocalypse

The campus has the agriculture and design programs, and is near the Fraser River — necessities for survival

Art by Kristen Frier

Art by Kristen Frier

The whole world is marching to its doom with climate change, pollution, and all sorts of pathogens that can potentially kill us. It’s no wonder that a zombie apocalypse is just right around the corner, and there’s a possibility that we will be in school worrying about exams and praying for our magical high grades. That won’t matter anymore if zombies come crashing through the halls and destroying your well planned-out future. What matters most is your survival, and it will all depend on where you bunker down. 

If an apocalypse were to happen, it’s likely we would be stuck in one of the Kwantlen Polytechnic University campuses. There’s little time to go home and pack because a few minutes on transit could literally kill you. It’s a matter of luck if you’re already in a place with a greater chance of surviving when the sirens go off. And that’s what the Richmond campus can provide more than any other. 

Unlike the other campuses, its location is strategic and elevated. It offers a good vantage point to kill zombies around the vicinity and see where they are accumulating through the safety of a glass-walled rooftop above the Wilson School of Design building. It’s also near the Fraser River, which can be another option for survival because zombies can’t swim and it buys you time to escape their hunger. As long as the timing is right to make a run for it and you’re sure there are boats to use, then that’s a sure win. It’s also a source of food — fish! 

The Richmond campus also provides stability and a convenient floor plan. Even though this campus is petite, it acts as an advantage because you can easily shut every entrance, exit, and window. It can become a fortress in no time. 

At the Surrey campus, zombies can flood into the courtyard from all directions and that’s a problem. They will quickly trap you in one of the buildings with no food or weapons available. 

In the Richmond campus, everything you need is within one building. Food, gears, makeshift weapons — you name it. You can ration food from the Tim Hortons and cafeteria in one quick spree. Some of your fellow survivors can go to the third floor and mix chemicals in the lab to make grenades and fatal concoctions to shower down the zombies. 

Additionally, having the agriculture program in Richmond as a headquarters is a great advantage for people who are trying to survive. There will be enough supply of fresh produce to last at least six months and maybe even more with the right skills and techniques on how to cultivate plants in indoor and outdoor conditions. 

We also have the design department to come up with clothing and accessories, which can be functional for keeping tools to kill zombies. Perhaps the product design students can create some weapons for us to kill zombies, or armory to protect ourselves while still being stylish. It’s a win-win situation. 

There is a lot that the Richmond campus has to offer among the five KPU campuses, especially in humanity’s impending doom. It gives us a chance to survive when we are stuck in classes for our remaining days, but it is ultimately up to us on how to utilize what it has and with the team we forge in this battle. 

Hopefully, I’ll be on the Richmond campus when it happens.