My adventurous exploration of KPU’s abandoned cafeteria

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Civilizations rise and fall with the arc of history. Once great kingdoms and empires lay as ruins before our feet. Extravagant palaces and castles have crumbled and made way for our modern way of life.

Today, we study these ancient societies because old things are cool to look at and even cooler to touch.

Out of my love for the old and forgotten, I ventured into the oldest and most forgotten part of any Kwantlen Polytechnic University campus — the cafeteria. 

Older generations of students — myself included, do not ask what year I am in — will recall the cafeterias were once hubs of nourishment. Burgers, fries, pop, juice, milk, chocolate bars, chips, and so on all once existed in this great space.

Now, the areas where these eateries once stood have been cordoned off. Locked away from public access behind doors and security shutters. Memories fading and passing by without second thought.

As a sentimental fellow, I sought to keep the memory alive by exploring the ancient leftovers of KPU. Going through official channels to gain permission to enter the facility likely exists, however because I didn’t want to burden myself with any of that, I instead snuck inside when security wasn’t looking.

I solely explored the Surrey campus cafeteria because commuting to Richmond, Cloverdale, or, God forbid, Langley would be too much effort for a 600-word article.

Beyond the security shutters of KPU Surrey’s old cafeteria were ghosts. I spotted shadows of the coolers where soft drinks, sandwiches, and wraps once laid. They were now probably buried in a storage space somewhere along with a counter which used to feature displays of chocolates, chips, and candies to bait the sweet-toothed — myself included.

The main queue where one would order freshly made dishes was eerily silent. No more cooks calling orders or grilling patties.

Once night fell, I decided to camp out in a dry storage area where more ghosts of the KPU cafeteria haunted me. I sensed the spirits of boxes that no longer exist. Had there been any contents left behind, I could have done an analysis of the evidence, but nothing about my expedition into this deserted place could have led to any academic breakthroughs, sadly.

Later on, in search of a midnight snack, I opened a refrigerator only to find it was a dark, damp, and empty cave inside.

It was then that I begged the question — why am I even here?

No, seriously. What was I doing there? I rarely bought food from the cafeteria! The only meal I recall ordering from there was a burger, which was so rudely ruined with relish. Other than that, I usually only purchased snacks from there, but now I go to the bookstore for a quick bite. I’ve also come to appreciate Grassroots Café and their killer banana bread.

Come to think of it, I don’t even remember the cafeteria ever being that busy. When you really stop and consider it, the cafeteria closing down makes sense. It was redundant in a lot of ways. I really forgot why I decided to break in and sleep here.

As I sit crouched in the kitchen writing the last of this story at the break of dawn, I realize the building doors are locked. Damnit. Security is not going to be happy about this. Will they tell KPU administration about what I have done? Oh no, I am going to be in so much trouble!

There’s no food here, either. Not only is my stomach rumbling with hunger and foot falling asleep and aching with pins and needles, I’m doomed! The university will certainly penalize me and I could get arrested for trespassing. How do I get myself out of this mess? I guess it’s time to call my lawyer.